Spent my 15 minute break crying in the bathroom and the rest of the day wanting to throw stock and tell everyone to fook off. Didn't help either that my mind was dwelling on miserable shit. These are the days when I can't face the world and just want to sleep , so I can skip to the next day and just return to normal.
Several years ago every second or third day was like this. So they're rare enough lately, bit when it does happen it hits me like a tonne of bricks. When I get. Like this I just want to be shut away from the world and consider just disapearing from everything and everyone I know and love. Just dissapear and start again somewhere else where nobody knows me and I don't have to force myself to be social or to have friends.
And when I think like that, I scare myself in the fear that someday I'll end up stuck like that and actually go through with it. I don't like being left alone with my thoughts. They are very quick to betray me. I'm just gonna put my head down and hide for the rest of the day. Sometimes I think I'd be better offa a woman. That way I'd have an excuse for being such an emotional little bitch.
ahem. Lay off the women there will ya? ya bleein racist! Don't make me get emotional and bate yih!
ReplyDeleteSum wan hold me earrings.